Comments on: Why We Should Worry About Haiti’s Rebuilding Process: A Historical Lesson http://fourfiftyone.org/?p=347 Igniting the Fire of Discourse Fri, 05 Mar 2010 21:50:54 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Robin http://fourfiftyone.org/?p=347&cpage=1#comment-51 Robin Wed, 17 Feb 2010 19:24:49 +0000 http://fourfiftyone.org/?p=347#comment-51 Great job Michael! The third paragraph gets a little confusing in parts, and I think shortening some of the sentences would fix that. Definitely split the first sentence of the third paragraph into two, and maybe try breaking down the second and third into two or more sentences. Great job Michael! The third paragraph gets a little confusing in parts, and I think shortening some of the sentences would fix that. Definitely split the first sentence of the third paragraph into two, and maybe try breaking down the second and third into two or more sentences.

]]> By: Lauren Golder http://fourfiftyone.org/?p=347&cpage=1#comment-29 Lauren Golder Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:23:06 +0000 http://fourfiftyone.org/?p=347#comment-29 Looks good, Michael! This is an interesting idea, and one that certainly should not be overlooked. I think the piece would be made more accessible if (after the first paragraph) you add a paragraph that summarizes the arc of the historical narrative you describe. It seems kind of silly from an academic standpoint, but I think that for an article such as this it would be helpful. Also, I really like that you have the external quotes in there and cite other sources. Adds a great deal of credibility. Lauren Looks good, Michael! This is an interesting idea, and one that certainly should not be overlooked.

I think the piece would be made more accessible if (after the first paragraph) you add a paragraph that summarizes the arc of the historical narrative you describe. It seems kind of silly from an academic standpoint, but I think that for an article such as this it would be helpful.

Also, I really like that you have the external quotes in there and cite other sources. Adds a great deal of credibility.

Lauren

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